20 Funny Parent Tweets

It's Friday so thought you might enjoy some humor as you prepare to head into a weekend of ministry.

My kid can tell me all about a 24 minute episode of Paw Patrol in 56 minutes.

Have kids so you can watch all of your personality flaws manifest in human form.

Welcome to homeschooling. Your house has 847 pencils in it, yet your child can never find one.

5-year-old: I'm pretending to do grown-up things.

Me: Like what?

5-year-old: Being tired all the time.

Me: Nailed it.

My son complained that he didn’t like the breakfast I made so I told him to be sure to leave his Yelp review & also, I don’t care

I’m not saying our healthy lifestyle has deteriorated under quarantine, but I just asked our 5yo what his favorite fruit is and he answered “sausage.”