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Kids' Funny Bible Quotes


Kids can say some hilarious things about Bible stories they have heard, but haven't fully comprehended yet.

Here are some of the best. Enjoy.

Shadrach, Meshach and a billy goat were thrown into a fire.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

David fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

David had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards.

Jesus went up to Heaven, but will be back at the end of the aluminum.

Once upon a time, Jesus was walking through the countryside with His disciples. Since this was before Chick-fil-A, they didn’t have easy access to food while they were traveling.

There was tennis in the Bible. It says Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Moses was the most wicked man in the Bible. He broke all 10 commandments at the same time.

Jesus drove a car - it was a Chrysler.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the 10 amendments.

The 5th commandment is to humor thy father and mother.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew, who was, by profession, a taximan.

And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.

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