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20 Things You've Thought But Can't Say in Children's Ministry

It's Friday, so let's have some fun as we prepare to head into the weekend.

Here are 20 things we'd like to say as children's ministers, but can't. Can you relate to any of these?

1. Can you put the new speakers in the kid's worship room instead of in the sanctuary? We'd like the adults to have to endure an old, screeching, out of whack sound system for once.

2. Instead of using money to purchase new choir robes, can we use the money to decorate the kids' rooms?

3. Can I take my vacation the week of VBS?

4. Can the adult service end when the kids' service ends?

5. Can we have the church greeters dress up as super heroes? Think about how awesome it would be to be welcomed each week by Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman and Spiderman?

6. Can the adult Sunday school classes be banned from meeting during the Sunday school hour so they can serve as teachers for the kiddos?

7. Can the choir stop being a hiding place for AWOL children's ministry volunteers?

8. Can we not let the adults leave the building until they swear on a Bible to use the take home paper during the week with their kids?

9. Cashier, please stop asking me why I am buying 25 bags of cotton balls?

10. Did you know that the manna in the Old Testament was goldfish crackers?

11. No problem that you were 45 minutes late picking up your child after the event. I don't mind missing dinner with my family because of it.

12. If only I could bottle up the energy of the 3rd grade boys' class and sell it as an energy drink, I would be rich.

13. Uh-oh...here comes Negative Nelly. I need to smile and remember that Jesus loves her.

14. Can we use the VBS offering money to send me on a vacation to Hawaii?

15. Whose bright idea was it to give the kids noise makers? Oh yeah...it was mine. The parents are going to love me for this.

16. If I have to blow up one more balloon for decorations, I'm going to pass out.

17. Can I count a trip to Disney World as a business expense?

18. I don't know why I have any "dress clothes" for church. The only thing I ever wear is a children's ministry shirt.

19. Wow...that object lesson was a total disaster. Why didn't I test it before the service to make sure it would work?

20. I get annoyed when the adult ministry says summer is a slower ministry season. Not for children's ministry.

Any other comical thoughts you have? Share them in the comment section below.


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